{"product_id":"mitch-is-a-bitch-goodlife-guru-t-shirt","title":"\"DITCH MITCH the BITCH\" Tee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"174\" data-end=\"233\"\u003eRemember when Mitch McConnell was \u003cem data-start=\"208\" data-end=\"218\"\u003epro-hemp\u003c\/em\u003e?\u003cbr data-start=\"219\" data-end=\"222\"\u003eYeah… same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"563\"\u003eThis design calls out McConnell’s not-so-mysterious flip once lobbyists from the alcohol and regulated cannabis industries came knocking. Unregulated hemp products were suddenly a problem — not because they were dangerous, but because they didn’t pay the same taxes, follow the same rules, or protect the same corporate profits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"565\" data-end=\"586\"\u003eFunny how that works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"588\" data-end=\"830\"\u003eAs hemp-derived products grew, they started cutting into market share for big alcohol, big cannabis, and especially Kentucky’s beloved bourbon industry. Critics noticed. Lobbyists acted. And Mitch, well… Mitch adjusted his values accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"832\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eThe GoodLife Guru stays calm and centered, holding the sign with quiet sarcasm- because when the story tells itself, all you have to do is point at it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003eNo conspiracy theories here. Just truth - albeit inconvenient for some - Like our boy Mitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003eNo hate here though. Satire- sure. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1061\"\u003eWe love all people - enough to advocate for individual sovereignty. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1094\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1094\"\u003eWear it if you’re tired of:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1273\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1095\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1097\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003ePoliticians “evolving” when money’s involved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1146\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003eLobbyists writing the rules\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1176\" data-end=\"1231\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1178\" data-end=\"1231\"\u003eSmall businesses getting crushed for being too free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1232\" data-end=\"1273\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1273\"\u003eHemp bans dressed up as public safety\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1275\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003eStay peaceful. Stay skeptical. Stay Free!\u003cbr data-start=\"1325\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003eThat’s the GoodLife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct Features:\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (lightweight 4.2 oz) for soft, breathable wear\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar with seam and shoulder tape for shape retention and stability\u003cbr\u003e- Side seams to maintain structure and a retail fit with classic crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- Printed artwork using DTF\/DTG methods for crisp sleeve, label, and garment prints\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label; REACH certified and ethically manufactured\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% Airlume combed \u0026amp; ring-spun cotton — lightweight and breathable\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape for lasting shape\u003cbr\u003e- Side seams and retail crew fit for a neat silhouette\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail prints (DTF\/DTG) for vibrant front\/back artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label; REACH certified; ethically manufactured\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ XS","offer_id":53755321352564,"sku":"12956300047719004464","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":53755321385332,"sku":"28828925901539066594","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XS","offer_id":53755321418100,"sku":"29474375061928054289","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Steel Blue \/ XS","offer_id":53874690228596,"sku":"30404068317273419613","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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